At the end of the day, there’s more room at the start line than on the podium. Many of us are completely satisfied to be part of the “herd” that finishes eventually.

 

Pick a number! Which one sounds like you or someone you know?

 

1. Silently laughing at the out-of-shape guy with the “2nd place is 1st loser” t-shirt.

2. Wondering what the really intense runners who won’t talk to anyone before the race and don’t wear socks think about while they warm up.

 

16 Tips for Getting Great Race Day Photos (Run Oregon)

 

3. Avoiding admitting you finished last by mentioning that you saw several runners drop out, even though these “runners” were wearing pajamas and clearly checking their mailboxes before going back into their houses.

4. Compensating for there never being any pizza left when you finish by stopping for an ice cream sundae on your way home.

5. The sure and certain knowledge that you have never tasted kale.

 

6. Watching people’s reaction to your “Cheeseburgers are a Super Food” t-shirt.

7. Being the person in the matching gray t-shirt, shorts, socks, and shoes in a sea of neon runners.

 

8. Sharing on social media that you just got a stitch. (You leave out that it’s the first one in years.)

 

12 Tips to Avoid a Side Stitch (Runtastic)

 

9. The pleasant/unpleasant feeling that you are going out too fast, feeling like a cheetah in the moment, but knowing you will cross the finish line looking more like a drunken bull.

 

Advice from the Pro’s on Pacing Your Next Race (StrengthRunning)

 

10. Sure the podium finishers get a medal, but have they seen every episode of “The Office” twice?

 

11. Breezing through uncrowded aid stations like a rock star.

 

12. Enjoying those three-syllables-between-breaths chats with runners who are struggling just as much as you are.

 

13. Planning your 3,000 calorie post-race lunch since you will never be thin enough to look dazzling in running clothes anyway.

 

14. Explaining the difference between gun time and chip time to a runner who is younger than some of the race t-shirts in the back of your closet.

 

15. Knowing that if the lead runner makes a wrong turn it’s a disaster but if you make a wrong turn it’s sightseeing.

 

If you like this post please share it. Use the social share icons below.

Want our e-mail newsletter plus a free copy of our Winter Road Cycling Guide? Sign up below!

Have any funny stories about being a back-of-the-pack runner? Leave a comment on the blog.

Have a topic you want to see covered in a future post? e-mail me I’m alfred@swimbikestumble.com.

Follow my manic musings on Twitter @swimbikestumble and check out the swimbikestumble Facebook page for credible, interesting, or thought-provoking items.