1. A runner won’t admit that he locked his keys in the car. No, he decided to run the extra six miles home to get more distance and was just checking to see if his spare keys were still stored in the fake rock next to the back steps.
2. A runner denies that when she gets bored on a run she imagines running with Tom Cruise through the most recent Mission Impossible movie. Dodging knives, bullets, and oddly enough exploding MTV Movie Awards.
3. A runner won’t admit that he has sent photos of blisters, black toenails, and weird calluses to other runners, family members, and Facebook friends. And just for the record, he also didn’t have a 15-minute conversation with you about athlete’s foot complete with graphs and diagrams.
FYI: Did Cavemen Get Athlete’s Foot?
4. A runner claims that she did not write a book called 101 Uses for Anti-chafing Creams, which included 20 places you need to apply it, and 10 examples of things she’s done with lip balm when desperate on long runs.
5. A runner won’t admit that he wears running clothes that actually match if there will be women at the group run, claims that the brightly colored running shoes were all that was available in his size, or fess up that he checks himself in the mirror before running and asks do I look fast?
6. Runners strongly repudiate making a mental map of places to pee when running a new route, planning routes based on porta-john locations, googling trap-door skirts, or telling anyone what happened behind the neighbor’s hedge that necessitated the purchase of a camping shovel.
5 WAYS TO (DISCREETLY) PEE IN PUBLIC
Weird, interesting link with products that I did not know existed.
7. A runner definitely won’t admit she includes skipping during warmups because it reminds her of being a kid, swinging on a jungle gym while pretending to stretch, running deliberately through a sprinkler, using her shirt to blow her nose, running around the block five times until her Garmin clicks over to the next mile, or randomly yelling “push the pace” on a run then realizing people can hear her.
Pick a number! Which one is your favorite or sounds like you?
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Suggest topics for future 7 Signs posts.
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