1) You decide to do your first half marathon and figue a trail run will be more scenic. You pick the Morris Broadband DuPont Half Marathon, forgetting Brevard, NC, is in the mountains. After somehow surviving the race you find the elevation profile online and notice it has a striking resemblance to the EKG of someone having a heart attack.
The best practical joke I ever played on myself. (I check elevation profiles now. You should too.)
2) After an extensive Google search your significant other said you are not allowed to enter any race including the words: brutal, Barkley, bad water, expedition, 100, across America or death. You were able to get the Self-Transcendence 3,100 Mile Race past him/her by claiming that the comma was supposed to be a decimal point and mentioning that all you have to do is run around a city block – cough – 5,649 times.
Self-Transcendence 3,100 Mile Race
3) You enter a Star Trek themed triathlon. At the swim start you noticed the woman next you has the names of the Galileo Seven written on her wetsuit. You have been hopelessly out geeked even though you made your swim goggles look almost exactly like Geordi’s visor.
Wikipedia Article on the Galileo Seven
4) You arrive to a small town duathlon at packet pickup you notice a diagram of the run course which looks like something your college calculus instructor tried to explain but couldn’t. You resolve to just follow the runner ahead of you. Both of you get lost but find the local Dairy Queen, no foul.
5) You turn up at a New Year’s Eve race that starts at midnight in a local park. You notice everyone else has a headlamp but figure you’ll be OK. Many of the runners smell faintly of beer. A horn sounds and you’re off. It’s darker than you thought, and there are fireworks mid-race. It becomes a loud, murky, kaleidoscopic experience. Near the finish line you trip over a speed bump or an armadillo. It’s too dark to tell for sure but whatever it was ran off into the trees.
(One of the most fun 5Ks I’ve ever done and a great start to the new year. Headlamp optional but helpful. Surprisingly armadillo free.)
6) You sign up for a off-road triathlon in the deep south. In transition you notice along with mountain bikes and trail running shoes everyone has Mosquito head nets. You spot a five-gallon container of DEET. Someone mentions there are several creek crossings. You overhear the word leeches. It’s going to be a very long race.
7) You show up for your first ultra. It looks like a really tough race. All of the other runners are lean and muscular. You notice that you can clearly see one young man’s serratus anterior through his running shirt. There is a woman doing handstand pushups to warm up. The medical tent is larger than your local town hall. You notice the EMTs playing defibrillator tag.
9 of the most extreme endurance challenges in the world – Business Insider
Pick a number! Which one is your favorite or sounds like you?
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Suggest topics for future 7 Signs posts.
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