In honor of this year’s Barkley Marathons, it seemed like a good time to revisit my ultra running post. I will never be fast enough, fit enough, or tough enough to play in the league of runners that dare to take on this daunting, demanding, and some would say irrational race. (The full, five-loop race has been completed 18 times by 15 runners as of the 2021 event.) Hopefully, this race’s very existence will inspire generations of runners to dream and defy the odds and go after goals that once seemed unattainable.
1. You spent $2,500 on a custom mattress for your home. You’ve been running for 80 miles, it’s 3 am and you decide to take a quick nap on a rocky slope because the pine needles look so dang comfortable.
2. You think the 5-second rule is a crude joke but will eat M&Ms from a bowl that you share with 50 other runners whose hands are just as dirty as yours.
The 15 Hardest Ultramarathons (Trail and Summit)
3. You’re 5 miles from the nearest aid station and have to do number two, leaves are all you have to use for wiping. You have long ago figured out the best variety and type and are considering writing a blog post about it.
What It Takes To Be An Ultrarunner (Trail Runner)
4. Conversations with complete strangers while running are sometimes about your pee color, what you were able to accomplish in the porta-john before the race started, or areas of your body that are currently chafed.
Where Dreams Go To Die – Gary Robbins and The Barkley Marathons (Ginger Runner)
5. After just a few miles you realize that you have signed up for a really tough ultra. The mile markers are tombstones.
20 Beginner-Friendly Trail Ultras (Trail Runner)
6. An EMT stops you and says she may have pull you from the race because you are swaying. You reply that you are just enjoying the music. She asks what music? You point over her shoulder and say “is that a Southern bog lemming?” then hurriedly stumble off down the trail while she is distracted.
Training for Your First Ultramarathon (The Run Experience)
7. By mile 82 you are so hungry you would seriously consider fighting Bear Grylls for grubs he found under a log even if you had to rappel down a waterfall on a vine to get them.
Pick a number. If any of these sound familiar please comment or share.
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Do you have tips, tricks, or ultra adventures you would like to share? Leave a comment on the blog.
Have a topic you want to see covered in a future post? e-mail me I’m alfred@swimbikestumble.com.
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Special thanks to Nathan Maxwell @socialshark for assistance in putting together this post.
Number 4 hit home (the chafing part), and number 5 was just funny!
Thanks! An ultra runner helped me put this post together & I have great beta readers.
An EMT stops you and says she may pull you because you are swaying. You reply that you are just enjoying the music. She asks what music? You point over her shoulder and say “is that a Southern bog lemming?” then hurriedly stumble off down the trail while she is distracted.
Loved this 😀
It was at the 2010 DuPont half marathon in Brevard, NC. EMT said she was thinking about pulling me from the race. I just kept going, and hoped for the best. No one tackled me, and I made across the finish line. I didn’t walk normally for a few days but hey normal is overrated. Thanks for the comment.