1. You buy a used Garmin Forerunner 310XT from a friend we’ll call “Dave” to replace your Timex Ironman watch. Immediately you notice changes in your behavior. You drive two miles back home because you forgot your Garmin. You run around the block 7 times to get from 6.67 to 7 miles. You can’t pee unless you pause your Garmin first.
2. You replace your Cateye bike computer with a Garmin Edge 520, now you call out random statistics every five minutes: air temp, % incline, average cadence, current elevation. You notice that your riding buddies now wear ear plugs. Plus you get repeated texts from your spouse that all read “are you there yet?”
3. You buy a Fitbit for your cat, Simon, and your dog, Toby. You notice that they spend a lot of time at a certain spot in your backyard. Investigation and excavation reveals the entrance to an underground lair complete with computer screens that track the US space program, a suspicious looking Persian cat with a monocle and a shark tank with ludicrously slow dipping mechanism.
4. You begin to think that you are taking this Garmin kick too far. You have two different style heart rate straps and compare data to see which is more accurate. You have a footpod for running and a Varia radar tail light for your bike. You took up extreme skiing to justify buying a VIRB 360 camera. You have a Descent for scuba, a Quatix for boating, a Fenix Chronos for work and an Approach for golf. You recently got a DC Rainmaker tattoo.
5. You set a new 5K PR because your Garmin said “low battery” at mile two and the thought of not having the data was unthinkable.
6. You were once spotted milling about on a soccer field for 30 minutes because your Garmin lost satellite reception. You claimed you were looking for a lost contact lens but you have 20/20 vision.
7. You have become so data obsessed that when you close your eyes at night you can still see your TrainingPeaks performance management chart. You coach now limits you to 10 questions per workout.
Pick a number! Which one is your favorite or sounds like you?
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