12 Catchphrases For Athletes Who Stopped Pretending to be Normal

There comes a time in every endurance athlete’s life when they realize that there are people who don’t get up at 5:00 am, only workout four or five times a week, and have never climbed a chainlink fence in the dark to do speedwork at the local high school track. Once this realization sinks in there are only two options: pretend to be normal or embrace the crazy.

Pick a number! Which one would you buy, wear, or give to a friend?

 

1) Every day is a wet t-shirt contest if you’re a distance runner.

Oval runner sticker

2) My other car is a paddleboard.

3) Stay tranquil and shred berms.

Oval mountain biking sticker

4) Brought to you by electrolytes, duct tape, and butterfly bandages.

Mostly duct tape.

5) No Drafting – Stay Back 3 Bike Lengths. (7 meters if you’re metric.) (50 feet if you’re stinky.)

Raleigh 70.3 triathletes

6) Bean Powered. (The Whole Solar Thing Didn’t Work Out.)

Bean Powered T-Shirt

7) Pass on Left – Duh.

8) 0 Dark 30 is me time.

Sometimes you get to run through sprinklers too.

9) I brake for porta-johns.

PortaJohn T-Shirt

10) Your bike is SUPPOSED to be worth more than your car.

Check out the disc wheels!

11) Hydration is Hard. Drinking is Easy.

Been there. Done that.

Does ‘Drink to Thirst’ Hydration Work For Endurance Athletes?

 

12) I heart distance.

13) Bonus sticker for triathletes.

Oval sticker Can P N Motion

14) Bonus sticker for trail runners.

Wash my trail running shoes? Seriously?

The most magical aspect of endurance sports is the people you meet: brilliant, obsessive, hard-working, and remarkably helpful. The second most magical thing is the places it takes you. Running with a headlamp in the dark to train for the Medoc 10 miler before work. Swimming in the Savanah river with a few hundred of your closest friends at Ironman Augusta. Sweating bullets riding across the bridges at Beach2Battleship. Cycling endless miles chasing roadies in most kinds of weather most Saturdays. Being greeted by name by almost every lifeguard at your local pool. It’s a trip worth taking, wherever it takes you.

 

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Have a topic you want to see covered in a future post? e-mail me at alfred@swimbikestumble.com.

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