You like awkward tan lines and now your kids refuse to go to the beach with you.
You enthusiastically join conversations about your ability to pee while doing other things. Much to the horror of your spouse this has moved beyond swimming, biking and running.
You write in to TV show and movie producers to complain about a lack of triathlete zombies.
The realization that you would buy carbon fiber shoelaces if they were available on Amazon.
Your three cats are named fartlek, tempo and hill repeat. Interestingly enough hill repeat is the gassy one.
You have been asked to spend less time looking at photos of bikes online or at least make fewer groaning/cooing sounds.
You have no idea who your congressperson is but you can close your eyes and recite the groupset specs for the Cervelo P5.
You changed your makeup pallette to better match your tri suits.
There was an incident where you were caught practicing transitions in the shower to prepare for rainy races.
You have been working on a series of YouTube videos titled “Chafing through the ages.”
Your local bike shop has been given a price limit for purchases by your spouse which is jokingly referred to as the “Divorce Threshold.”
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