It was so hot at Ironman Augusta that …

I saw a bike in transition that had six gels and a ziploc bag containing a pork chop and what appeared to be Shake ‘N Bake taped to the top tube.

Out on the bike course a squirrel ran across the road in front of me and burst into flames. It took an entire bottle of Infinit to put him out.

I saw a battery-powered fan mounted on a tri bike.

The humidity was so high that I saw birds on a powerline that were too fluffy to fly.

The bike course, much to my surprise, was routed through a beer cave at mile 22 and a Dairy Queen drive-thru at mile 48.

I spilled some water on my handlebars and it sizzled.

One athlete got off his bike next to a pasture to stretch a cramp and was promptly licked through the fence by a cow because he was salty.

The humidity was measured in megawatts per millimeter.

I kept smelling burnt tires out on the run course then realized that it was my shoes.

I saw steam coming off regular ice.

Athletes with long hair discovered a new meaning for the phrase “smothered and covered.”

I noticed that some of the power poles were wilting.

At least three athletes tested positive for freon.

 

Editor’s Note: Poking some fun at conditions at Ironman Augusta 70.3 2018 with no offense intended toward organizers, volunteers or athletes.

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Photo Sources:

Lava Field

Beach Ice Cream Cone

Sand Dune Hikers

Desert Road

Monkeys Swimming in Hot Spring

2 thoughts on “It was so hot at Ironman Augusta that …”

    1. Lori: Agreed. I’ve done one sprint in the rain in the hills of TN, and it was miserable. I recall the race director telling us at the pre-race meeting “Y’all know your brakes don’t work now, right?”

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