1. You reach the turnaround point on your out-and-back run and your legs are toast. You hitch a ride with a pizza delivery guy and have to explain to his next customer what happened to their pizza.
2. Thirty miles into an 80-mile ride you stop at a convenience store to use the bathroom. After an incident involving an overturned slushy machine and an argument with the clerk about what exactly constitutes jerky, you realize that your riding buddies have left without you. You quietly let the air out of your front tire and call your spouse to pick you up.
3. The manager at your open-24-hours, come-anytime gym says he is concerned that you are there when he arrives in the morning and when he leaves at night. Finally he asks if you sleep in one of the tanning beds.
4. You stop to stretch your quadriceps during your weekly long trail run but discover that you can’t lift your foot high enough to grasp your ankle.
5. In your 20s, your motto was sex, drugs and rock & roll. In your 50s, it’s run long, bike hard and avoid rhabdomyolysis.
6. Halfway through a two-mile swim the wind picks up and you can’t make much headway. So you opt to climb up the rocky slope up to the running path on top of the levee. You start the walk of shame back to your car still wearing your swim cap, goggles and swim buoy. A frisky labrador runs up grabs the swim buoy and spins you like a top. You fall and roll downhill. When your wits return, two teenage girls are calling 911, and the lab is wearing your swim cap.
7. Walking through the gym parking lot, a young man stops you to ask how you got those leg muscles and can you give him any tips. You describe your workouts. He looks left, looks right, and darts away saying he is late for his bootcamp class.
Pick a number! Which one is your favorite or sounds like you?
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